Bittersweet!

Well, this is it. My last day in the office at Calvary Community Church. I will be teaching a couple of classes on Sunday but this is my last day working in the office. I will clean out my office on Sunday and Monday but I am taking this day in and treasuring it in my heart.

I have often said, "If your Christian life doesn't feel like a free fall most of the time, you are probably not doing it right."

Right now I feel like I am in a free fall. But the thing the Lord has taught me along the way is that He is faithful. I can trust Him to catch me. He consistently calls me to step out of my comfort zone so I have to rely on Him. When He originally called me into full-time ministry I told Him He would have to show up BIG because without Him I would fall flat on my face.

I still feel that way. If Jesus doesn't show up BIG I will fall flat on my face. That is just the place I want to be...dependent upon Jesus.

I will miss working with the staff of Calvary on a daily basis but I am glad I am not leaving the fellowship of my Calvary family. You have all been a blessing to me in more ways than you will ever know.

The ministry the Lord is leading me into is a continuation of what you all have poured into me over the last 5 years I have been on full-time staff, 4 1/2 years I volunteered in the front office, and the last 22 years Denice and I have been attending Calvary.

Please continue to pray for us as we follow the Lord as we commit to pray for you. We love you all from the bottom of our heart.

The Next Milepost

It has been quite a journey. A journey which has taken me to the other side of the earth. A journey that traces its roots to a small town in Iowa about 13 years ago. I was a cross country truck driver waiting for my trailer to be loaded for a trip back home to Phoenix. The snow laid heavy all around me for the second day and I was stuck in my truck engaged in a knock down drag out fight with God.

God had been bugging me for a while about going into full time ministry. He was calling me to be a preacher, or a pastor, or something like that. I wanted no part of that. I was horrified of the thought of getting up in front of people and preaching God's Word. I was armed with all my Moses arguments as to why I was not able to do what He was calling me to do. I lifetime of driving a truck was my backside of the wilderness and Marshalltown, Iowa was the location of my burning bush.

As with Moses, God was not going to be denied. He broke my will and I gave in. I knew I could not do this without the Lord by my side, directing my path.

He put people in my life to help guide me along the way. Pastor Randy Southwick had been my friend and mentor up to that point and he helped mentor me afterwards with a different purpose in mind.

This morning we were reminiscing as we recalled how God has brought me up to this weekend. Sunday, October 27, 2013, is the day I pass the next milepost. I am being ordained as a pastor. It is evidence that God has a sense of humor. He has taken a truck driver and made me into a shepherd.

I am humbled that Calvary Community Church would ordain me. God wrestled me with me until I tapped out on that snowy day, 13 years ago, and I couldn't be happier. I love what he has me doing now. He has even given me a love for the people and land of India. As I write this post I am getting ready for the India Fellowship we have every Friday evening and I am planning my second trip to India.

I am a happy and blessed man. Sunday is not the finish line...just the next milepost.

Vision India 2012

I have been asked to explain my interest in India, so I will try to put forth a brief summary of what God has done in my heart for this country I've never had a desire to visit. I know you have your doubts, because brevity has never been one of my strong suits, but I'll give it a shot although I make no promises about the length.

It started in October 2010. My beloved sister, Karen, was just a few weeks from finishing her battle with cancer. I was working at the church for just three months and I was feeling as if I was walking through mud. Karen was doing progressively worse and she could take a turn at any time. It was as if we were on a death watch.

Denice and I went to our great-nephew's high school football game. His uncle on his mother's side, Darrell, was at the game. Darrell had just returned from a business trip to India. We talked for a while about his business and how it was going in India. When we were concluding our conversation and I was about to go sit with Denice, Darrell said, "You and I ought to go on a mission trip to India sometime!"

"Yeah! Sure! Let's pray about that." Those were the words that came out of my mouth because it seemed like the spiritual thing to say. But what was going on inside my head was, "I ain't going to India! It is dirty! I have never had a desire to go to India and I don't plan on ever going. I'll tell him I'll pray about it and he will forget all about it by the next time we talk."

That was Friday and Saturday was a new day. Saturday evening Denice and I were at a banquet for a ministry here in the Phoenix area. While the speaker was giving his message, the Lord told me to ask a friend at the next table if he would be interested in going on the mission trip to India with us. "WHAT! I don't even want to go to India!"

"Just ask him," the Lord replied.

"Lord, he's not going to want to go! He's a contractor and he has laid off everybody but himself!"

"Just ask him," was the gentle encouragement from the Lord.

"Lord, he has young children and India is not the safest place for Christians! He is not going to want to go!"

"Just ask him."

So I asked him. He smiled real big and said, "Yeah, let's pray about it!" He had a ring of authenticity in his voice that I had lacked in mine the evening before.

Sunday afternoon I was in the atrium at the church doing a little straightening up before the evening service. The only thing going on was some guitar lessons so there were very few people around. An Indian woman, named Elizabeth, came up and introduced herself. I asked where she was from and she replied she was from India. I told her I didn't know exactly what the Lord was doing but He may be calling me to go on a mission trip to India. She told me that she and her husband would be praying for me. Her smile was radiant.

That evening, during the worship time following the teaching, I was sitting next to Pastor Randy, the man who has mentored me for the past 15 years. He had his Bible opened. Pastor Mark came and talked to him and the next thing I knew, Pastor Mark was on the platform saying that Pastor Randy had a word from the Lord for us.

Psalm 40:1-3
1 I waited patiently for the Lord;
And He inclined to me and heard my cry.
2 He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay,
And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm.
3 He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God;
Many will see and fear
And will trust in the Lord.

As Pastor Randy read these words my soul was stirred. A pit of distruction- Karen is about to die; Out of the miry clay- I felt as I had been walking through mud; Set my feet on a rock,put a new song in my mouth, and many will trust the Lord.

"Lord, are you telling me that if I go to India you will put my feet on a rock, put a new song in my mouth, and many will put their trust in you? That is a stretch! I'm reading a lot into that. I'm going to need more confirmation than that, Lord!" Pastor Randy came back and sat next to me. A couple of songs later he leaned over to me and said, "That was for you."

That was the confirmation I needed. God had used a series of seemingly unrelated events over a 48 hour period to change my heart towards India. I having been seeking His will from that day forward as to what He is wanting to do with me in India. I could use your prayers. I am totally relying on God to supply the financing for Darrell and I to go to India in February. We estimate we will need about $5000 each for our airfare to and from India, traveling while there, meals, lodging, and money to bless the ministries we visit. Thank you for putting up with my lack of brevity and I pray I have given you a peak into my heart and what the Lord is wanting to do with us. Again, I covet your prayer.

God Fulfills His Promise.

About seven years ago, I had an argument with God. God was calling me into ministry. I had bought a 18 wheel diesel truck and trailer a couple of years earlier and I was perfectly happy with my life as a cross-country truck driver. I was making more money than I ever had made in my life. And most of all, I was not a public speaker.

It came to a head while I was in Marshalltown, IA. I had dropped my trailer off at a meat packing plant and they told me to get comfortable. It was going to a couple of days before my load was ready. So I settled in for a long stay in my sleeper.

I was set up so I could stay in my truck for several days without having to come out. It had been snowing, so I was quite comfortable in my little hideaway. Little did I know what God had planned for me in those couple of days.

I was able to pick up a Christian radio station, Calvary Satellite Network, which program schedule included a lot of teaching from Calvary Chapel pastors around the country. God started working on me right away. The more He convicted me of His call on my life, the more I argued with Him as to why He had the wrong guy.

I had never been a public speaker. I had barely graduated from high school. I was a slow reader and I HATED to study. I was not the man for the job. I had all the "Moses" arguments. God had made a mistake on this one.

I thought that I could drown out His voice by listening to all these different preachers. Surely they would not all be preaching on surrendering my will to God. But the more I listened, the more the Holy Spirit used their words to drill holes in the wall that I had erected to a teaching ministry. So I thought that I would turn the radio off and start listening to the cd's in my music library. That did not work. It seemed like every singer and every song all had to do with the same thing, bowing my knee to what God was calling me to do.

Finally, out of shear exhaustion, I literally cried out that I couldn't do it. In the silence that followed I felt like God was telling me to open my Bible to 1 Corinthians chapter 1. There I read that God had chosen the foolish to confound the wise, and the weak to overcome the mighty. It says that God uses things that are despised. I then heard the still small voice of God speak to my heart that He didn't want someone who could "do it." He wanted someone who was willing.

I told God that I was willing, but that was all I had going for me. I truly fit the job description: Foolish-Weak-Despised. God told me that He would be with me, give me strength, and put the words in my mouth. I could do my part, but He had to show up and do the lion's share of the work. He said that He would do that for me.

Now, fast forward to October 11, 2009. I had been asked to give the Sunday evening message at our church. I attend a rather large church and Pastor Mark is very particular as to who fills the pulpit. He asked me to deliver a message that I had given to a group at a spiritual retreat a month and a half earlier. The message I gave is the one that goes with an earlier blog post, The Saga Of JoJo.

The message went over well and I became comfortable early on. I was surprised that I was not more nervous. Here I was, a truck driver with no credentials other than God's promise to be with me and a staff of pastors who have poured their life into mine. I have not fully arrived yet. I have a lot of work to do still. I have a lot left to learn. But, I have God on my side!

On Monday, after the message, I was driving around reflecting on what God had done for and through me the night before. I started to weep as God brought back to mind the promise He made to me so many years before. He used a simple truck driver to deliver His message to people. He showed up big! He is a great and glorious God! He uses those who are despised and He keeps His promises!!!

If you are interested in listening to the message I gave, you can find it on iTunes under Calvary Community Church in Phoenix, AZ or go to www.calvaryphx.com.