A_Musing #1

This is my first attempt at a political cartoon. You'll be totally underwhelmed at the sheer lack of artistic talent.



Here's Your Sign

One of my coworkers at the church I work at told me of a man who called the other day to register a complaint. We have a large marquee sign right up against a very busy freeway. This man is a commuter and he was upset about a message he saw displayed on our sign that said "Don't text and drive." The message that follows has something to say about how it's a good way to go meet Jesus face to face.

What bothered him was what he perceived as an order from the church not to text while he is driving. He said, "What gives you the right to tell people what to do?"

My coworker said, "Well sir, the sign belongs to us and the constitution gives us the right to put any message up we choose." He went on to explain how texting while driving is as dangerous as driving while intoxicated.

The gentleman was undeterred in his protest. He finished with letting us know that he would NOT be attending our church because we had the audacity to tell people what to do with our "Don't Text And Drive" message on the marquee.

Okay, let me get this straight. This man sees the sign. Feels we are trying to tell him what to do. Calls the church and reams someone out for telling him what to do...Yep, that's what he did. He called us to tell us we shouldn't tell people what to do.

Hmmm! If I'm not mistaken, he called the church to tell us what to do, namely, "You shouldn't tell people what to do!" Do you see the same thing I see? Isn't he breaking his own rule of "It's wrong to tell people what to do?"

I don't think his problem was that he felt put upon by a sign with a message, else he would use all his cell phone minutes calling Coke, Burger King, Ford Motor Company, and every other advertiser that has a billboard on his way to and from work, telling him to buy their product. My suspicion is that he is mad at God and was ready to unload on the first church that he felt had done him wrong. We were just the one he found to vent his penned up anger towards.

My first reaction was one of sarcasm. I know, you probably find that hard to believe! Okay, that was sarcastic. But upon reflecting on it more, I find myself praying for him. He is a man who is wrestling with God, and God is winning. The Lord has his attention and he doesn't like it one bit. So I pray that the Holy Spirit would pin him to the mat, he would give up, and surrender his will to Jesus. Until then, the Lord will continue to say, "Here's your sign!"

"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." Ephesians 6:12 ESV

The Desert of Grief

This morning I found myself weeping in the shower, no, not weeping, sobbing. I was overcome by grief. It has been about seven weeks since my dear sister, Karen, passed away. This is the first Christmas without her. She lived in California with her husband and three children, so she was not always here in Phoenix every Christmas, but this is the first Christmas knowing we will never again, this side of heaven, gaze into her eyes that would almost disappear when she smiled.

As I stood in the shower sobbing, the wall was the only thing that kept me from collapsing onto the shower floor. I felt the warm water washing over me and I heard the Lord speak to me. It was not an audible voice, I'm grieving, not psychotic (although the line between the two can be razor thin). Jesus reminded me that He wept for Lazarus as He stood near Lazarus' tomb.

Jesus then asked me why He would have wept for Lazarus. I had to think about that for a while. I don't think it was because Jesus thought He had lost His friend forever. He knew he was going to raise him from the dead. It may have been because of His empathy for Mary and Martha, Lazarus' sisters, and the pain they were going through. But I imagine it was much deeper than that. I think Jesus wept because this was not the way things are supposed to be.

Grieving is a physical reaction to a loss. It can be the loss of a loved one, the loss of dear pet, the loss of a marriage through divorce, or even the loss of one's innocence from being sinned against. Our bodies yearn for the way things are supposed to be. Our soul longs for the time when Jesus will set all things right.

Jesus will come back one day soon, and in that day, He will restore everything back to the way it was meant to be from the very beginning. And in that day He will wipe away every tear from our eyes. Until then we will have death, sorrow, and tears.

Someone once told me, "Grieving is a process, not an event." How true that is. Sometimes it feels like a desert. I am writing this from Canaan In The Desert, a prayer garden in Phoenix. It is a desert garden, not a lush, green, European style garden with green grass, tall hedges, and beautiful aromatic flowers. Right now, there are no flowers. It is cold, dry, and desolate, and that is the way I feel at the moment.

I don't always feel that way. Sometimes I want to be around people and laugh. But sometimes I want to be all alone and weep. I want people to ask me how I am doing and alternately I want people to say nothing at all. I tend to be a logical person, and yet I find myself doing or saying things that are totally illogical.

What I have learned is that people who are living through the grief process need much grace. Grace and prayer. I don't need to be reminded that Karen is in a better place. I know that. I don't need to be reminded that one day we will be reunited. I know that. I do not weep for Karen, I weep for me. I know that sounds selfish, but it is the truth. Karen is with Jesus and I weep for my loss. And that is okay.

Does the grieving process ever end? I don't know, I'll let you know if I ever get there. But I hope it does not. Oh, I don't want to stay forever in this phase, but I am afraid that if the grieving ends totally I will never be able see her face or hear her laugh again.

So if you see me and I am not my normal jovial self, extend to me the grace I need, and say a silent prayer for me as I am in the Desert of Grief.

God Fulfills His Promise.

About seven years ago, I had an argument with God. God was calling me into ministry. I had bought a 18 wheel diesel truck and trailer a couple of years earlier and I was perfectly happy with my life as a cross-country truck driver. I was making more money than I ever had made in my life. And most of all, I was not a public speaker.

It came to a head while I was in Marshalltown, IA. I had dropped my trailer off at a meat packing plant and they told me to get comfortable. It was going to a couple of days before my load was ready. So I settled in for a long stay in my sleeper.

I was set up so I could stay in my truck for several days without having to come out. It had been snowing, so I was quite comfortable in my little hideaway. Little did I know what God had planned for me in those couple of days.

I was able to pick up a Christian radio station, Calvary Satellite Network, which program schedule included a lot of teaching from Calvary Chapel pastors around the country. God started working on me right away. The more He convicted me of His call on my life, the more I argued with Him as to why He had the wrong guy.

I had never been a public speaker. I had barely graduated from high school. I was a slow reader and I HATED to study. I was not the man for the job. I had all the "Moses" arguments. God had made a mistake on this one.

I thought that I could drown out His voice by listening to all these different preachers. Surely they would not all be preaching on surrendering my will to God. But the more I listened, the more the Holy Spirit used their words to drill holes in the wall that I had erected to a teaching ministry. So I thought that I would turn the radio off and start listening to the cd's in my music library. That did not work. It seemed like every singer and every song all had to do with the same thing, bowing my knee to what God was calling me to do.

Finally, out of shear exhaustion, I literally cried out that I couldn't do it. In the silence that followed I felt like God was telling me to open my Bible to 1 Corinthians chapter 1. There I read that God had chosen the foolish to confound the wise, and the weak to overcome the mighty. It says that God uses things that are despised. I then heard the still small voice of God speak to my heart that He didn't want someone who could "do it." He wanted someone who was willing.

I told God that I was willing, but that was all I had going for me. I truly fit the job description: Foolish-Weak-Despised. God told me that He would be with me, give me strength, and put the words in my mouth. I could do my part, but He had to show up and do the lion's share of the work. He said that He would do that for me.

Now, fast forward to October 11, 2009. I had been asked to give the Sunday evening message at our church. I attend a rather large church and Pastor Mark is very particular as to who fills the pulpit. He asked me to deliver a message that I had given to a group at a spiritual retreat a month and a half earlier. The message I gave is the one that goes with an earlier blog post, The Saga Of JoJo.

The message went over well and I became comfortable early on. I was surprised that I was not more nervous. Here I was, a truck driver with no credentials other than God's promise to be with me and a staff of pastors who have poured their life into mine. I have not fully arrived yet. I have a lot of work to do still. I have a lot left to learn. But, I have God on my side!

On Monday, after the message, I was driving around reflecting on what God had done for and through me the night before. I started to weep as God brought back to mind the promise He made to me so many years before. He used a simple truck driver to deliver His message to people. He showed up big! He is a great and glorious God! He uses those who are despised and He keeps His promises!!!

If you are interested in listening to the message I gave, you can find it on iTunes under Calvary Community Church in Phoenix, AZ or go to www.calvaryphx.com.

The Saga of JoJo

JoJo was a bean, but not just any bean, JoJo was a coffee bean. He was born, or came into bean, in Colombia, high up in the mountains. He blossomed as a youth and thought life just could not have been any better than hanging around on that coffee tree with his buds and twin sister, LoLo. You see, the fruit of the coffee tree, called cherries, have two seeds, or beans, inside and are very particular. They like high altitudes with about two hours of direct sunlight per day. It can’t be too hot or too cold. It can’t be too wet or too dry. They don’t do well if they are too far from the equator. They are quite particular and quite pampered.

One day, a man named Juan Valdez, came to visit JoJo. Juan had visited with JoJo many times before and he had come to look forward to these days because Juan made him feel so special. But this day was different, Juan did not come alone, as before, he brought a friend. He brought his donkey, Paco. Juan looked at JoJo carefully. Then he reached up and plucked poor frightened JoJo right off of the branch that JoJo had called home for so long and placed him in a rough gunnysack hanging from Paco’s back.

JoJo was confused at first. “Why me? What is happening to my life, my plans? I thought Juan loved me!” These are but a few of the thoughts and questions that were swirling around in JoJo’s mind. It was as if his world had been turned upside down and he had no one to talk to. He tried to talk to LoLo, but she was no help, she was consumed with her own pain and confusion.

Soon, JoJo was taken to a shed where he was put through the ringer. Although this part of his life was uncomfortable, he came through it with a new sense of freedom. The flesh of the cherry was removed and now he could breathe a little easier. He did suffer a bit of separation anxiety from his sister LoLo. JoJo saw life and the world in a whole new way now. This must have been what God had created him for. “I think I would like to travel and see the world,” JoJo said to himself.

JoJo was very excited when he was told he would soon be on a ship to America. “A cruise!” JoJo exclaimed as he could hardly contain his excitement. Our young protagonist soon found himself in a large bag, confined inside a cargo container with a few million other coffee beans. JoJo was an optimist though and he was determined to not let his life be ruled by his emotions. Even though he was missing out on the endless buffets and the ice sculptures, JoJo thought that he could use this time to meet new friends and maybe God could use him to comfort some other beans. JoJo would tell the other beans of the bright lights and big cities that he had heard about and soon everyone in the container could hardly wait to arrive in America. Some were looking forward to this new chapter in their lives, while others were just hoping against hope to finally get some peace and quiet as far from JoJo as possible.

It wasn’t long before JoJo found himself in a big shiny stainless steel drum that would continuously stir the beans. A Mixer! JoJo was finally in his element. He soon met other beans from all over the world like Brazil, Mexico, Indonesia, and even Kenya. All the different cultures and languages! JoJo could not have been any happier. That is when JoJo noticed that it was starting to get uncomfortably hot. Was this the bright lights in the big city that he had heard about? He noticed that he was starting to change. He was sweating quite a bit and his skin was starting to get oily. He was also losing weight and bulking up at the same time. What a tan he was getting and what was that smell? “This must be LA Fitness!” he told himself.

JoJo had come through this latest ordeal not only with a new outlook on life, but he found that he was bolder and stronger. He made a decision that he would serve God, no matter what came his way. He was starting to notice that he was being treated as some kind of celebrity. He was now living in a store where he and his new international friends were almost worshiped. He was learning a lot of new words, such as, “venti,” “cappuccino,” and “espresso.” JoJo was having fun just saying these new words when life once again took an unexpected turn. JoJo found himself in a hopper slowly sliding down towards a grinder. Soon his life was shattered into a thousand pieces. He once again cried out to God, but it was as if the heavens were as brass. No answer came, only more pain. Hot water came showering down upon him and he felt as if every bit of his life was being drained away. It was as he was being poured into a cup that the Lord spoke to him in the stillness of his heart. “You are no longer JoJo the coffee bean. This is the purpose for which I created you. This is your destiny. Your name is now Joe. And I love you."

It is only through the crucible of pain and suffering that we can become all that God has created you and I to be. It was A.W. Tozer who said something like, "I doubt that God can bless a man greatly until he has wounded him deeply."

Why Bother With Sex Offenders?

Which do you think would be more beneficial to society and the registered sex offender:

(A) Get personally involved with a registered sex offender and teach him to be a follower of Christ so Jesus can change his heart and mind?

(B) Push him into a corner, like a trapped animal, until he has no more strength to fight his default tendencies and re-offends. Then say, "See, i told you! They will never change."

I choose A!!! Even though it costs me time and money. I believe that is what we, "The Church" or "The Body of Christ," are called to do.