About seven years ago, I had an argument with God. God was calling me into ministry. I had bought a 18 wheel diesel truck and trailer a couple of years earlier and I was perfectly happy with my life as a cross-country truck driver. I was making more money than I ever had made in my life. And most of all, I was not a public speaker.
It came to a head while I was in Marshalltown, IA. I had dropped my trailer off at a meat packing plant and they told me to get comfortable. It was going to a couple of days before my load was ready. So I settled in for a long stay in my sleeper.
I was set up so I could stay in my truck for several days without having to come out. It had been snowing, so I was quite comfortable in my little hideaway. Little did I know what God had planned for me in those couple of days.
I was able to pick up a Christian radio station, Calvary Satellite Network, which program schedule included a lot of teaching from Calvary Chapel pastors around the country. God started working on me right away. The more He convicted me of His call on my life, the more I argued with Him as to why He had the wrong guy.
I had never been a public speaker. I had barely graduated from high school. I was a slow reader and I HATED to study. I was not the man for the job. I had all the "Moses" arguments. God had made a mistake on this one.
I thought that I could drown out His voice by listening to all these different preachers. Surely they would not all be preaching on surrendering my will to God. But the more I listened, the more the Holy Spirit used their words to drill holes in the wall that I had erected to a teaching ministry. So I thought that I would turn the radio off and start listening to the cd's in my music library. That did not work. It seemed like every singer and every song all had to do with the same thing, bowing my knee to what God was calling me to do.
Finally, out of shear exhaustion, I literally cried out that I couldn't do it. In the silence that followed I felt like God was telling me to open my Bible to 1 Corinthians chapter 1. There I read that God had chosen the foolish to confound the wise, and the weak to overcome the mighty. It says that God uses things that are despised. I then heard the still small voice of God speak to my heart that He didn't want someone who could "do it." He wanted someone who was willing.
I told God that I was willing, but that was all I had going for me. I truly fit the job description: Foolish-Weak-Despised. God told me that He would be with me, give me strength, and put the words in my mouth. I could do my part, but He had to show up and do the lion's share of the work. He said that He would do that for me.
Now, fast forward to October 11, 2009. I had been asked to give the Sunday evening message at our church. I attend a rather large church and Pastor Mark is very particular as to who fills the pulpit. He asked me to deliver a message that I had given to a group at a spiritual retreat a month and a half earlier. The message I gave is the one that goes with an earlier blog post, The Saga Of JoJo.
The message went over well and I became comfortable early on. I was surprised that I was not more nervous. Here I was, a truck driver with no credentials other than God's promise to be with me and a staff of pastors who have poured their life into mine. I have not fully arrived yet. I have a lot of work to do still. I have a lot left to learn. But, I have God on my side!
On Monday, after the message, I was driving around reflecting on what God had done for and through me the night before. I started to weep as God brought back to mind the promise He made to me so many years before. He used a simple truck driver to deliver His message to people. He showed up big! He is a great and glorious God! He uses those who are despised and He keeps His promises!!!
If you are interested in listening to the message I gave, you can find it on iTunes under Calvary Community Church in Phoenix, AZ or go to www.calvaryphx.com.
